At eight am this morning I awoke with zero motivation. I contemplated skipping my first class just so I could catch an extra hour of sleep, what with me staying up until four the night before. Sadly, I hadn't stayed up because of some large Superbowl party that had lasted long into the night, but to do homework for the upcoming Monday. I detest Mondays. There is just something awful about them. Yet, as I reasoned with myself this morning, saying that skipping class was fine in order to get some more sleep, my inner voice decided to speak up and remind me of all the reasons why skipping class would be a bad idea.
"You'll miss important notes. You'll ruin your attempt at the extra credit for perfect attendance. You'll kick yourself later if you skip. You'll feel guilty all day. An hour of sleep isn't worth having to go through the trouble of locating reliable people to find out what happened in class. Besides, you don't have this class on Friday. You can sleep in then."
Needless to say, my inner voice won. Leaving me to the task of prying myself from the warmth of my blankets and dragging my sleep heavy body down the ladder of the bunk bed I slept in. I wasn't too happy about leaving behind the warm plush blanket and black comforter as the cold encroached on my personal space. It was no use fighting the cold off, really it wasn't. No mater if I threw a hoodie on or my warmest coat I would still be cold during the walk from the building I reside in to the one my class was in.
When I got to class, however, I was pleased to be there. Not at first, but I did get there. As my professor droned on about a subject I have no interest in but must take (and pass) in order to graduate, I entertained myself by staring down at my notes and thinking over the day's schedule. My attention was drawn back to my professor, however, when he quoted Leroy Brownlow, saying, "There are times when silence has the loudest voice."
I can't even tell you why I liked that quote, but I did. I felt drawn to it, like it was some beautiful truth that I had never heard before. I didn't take much time to ponder over it, merely jotted it down in my notes and attempted to stay awake for the rest of the class. Staying awake wasn't really too hard, for the professor is an energetic speaker who has a way with words, but the content of his lecture wasn't something I cared to be listening to this morning.
As the day went on, I went about my Monday routine. Unfortuantly, I had a shadow of negativity tagging along with me for parts of it. This shadow, which was really a person, kept bringing me down. It brought up negatives about others, it contradicted everything I would say, it used a nickname that I absolutely hate, and then it lectured me on a topic that it had no right to...not that it should have been doing any of the negative activity. That topic, however, was a sore one for me. It's one that I absolutely hate hearing about...I say hearing because I never talk when it is brought up. It's better to stay silent if you have nothing good to say, right? Well, I have nothing good to say to anyone who starts lecturing me on my own eating habits. I have reasons for this that lay in the past and that I won't get into, but allow me to clear something up for anyone reading this.
If I know you, and you are reading this, here are two facts about my eating habits that you should know:
1) I'm not anorexic, don't even joke about me being that. I swear if you tell me I'm not eating enough I will be ticked at you for a decent amount of time. This is one of the few things that makes me livid and can keep me simmering for a while.
2) Don't ever tell me I'm eating too much, especially in the fruit and cheese category. I have a reason for eating the way I do. I'm hypoglycemic (not severely were I have to use insulin but enough where I have to keep a large amount of sugar in my system) and when I eat a lot of fruits and cheese it's because I require the healthy sugars I get from them. They are the quickest way to get sugar into my system.
With those two things cleared up, allow me to continue. This post is not meant to be a rant about life, for I am pretty happy with my life. It is merely meant to be an update on my life. Now, let's continue...shall we?
As the day went on, I decided to ignore the shadow. I busied myself with assigned readings and getting ready for my night class. I was barely on the internet throughout the daylight hours, instead spending my free time working on assigned readings, taking walks on a trail that runs around the campus, and having a much needed conversation with my amazing mother.
When the time for my night class came, I was ready. A three hour class with my favorite professor, and it's all about literature. I loved the time spent in the class. Though I didn't talk much in it, I enjoyed it. I'm more of a listener than a speaker in classes. I like hearing my fellow classmates' thoughts and, occasionally throwing in one of my own. Listening to their individual ideas helps me with developing characters for my stories.
It is now 10:03 at night and I have accomplished everything I needed to today. Despite the facts that the shadow irritated me and that I got off to a rough start this morning, today has been glorious. I've stuck to my latest attempt at a health kick, am drinking my first Mountain Dew of the day, and feel overall pleased with where I am in life.
Today was a good day. God kept me safe, silent, and grateful through out all of today's hardships. I am thankful for that and praying the same occurs tomorrow. I
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