It's Okay to be a Crazy English Student: A rambling about my day.

"Say these sounds." a linguistics professor indicates the smart board that proudly displays the list of sounds she wants the class to say. "Z-Z-Z"

 The silent class share glances. The students are all thinking the same thought. It isn't long until their professor raises her hands and states, "It's okay to say them. It would make you look like a crazy person but this is a whole class. We can be crazy together."

There are times in life where I question myself. Where I question the path I've chosen and wonder if the destination is anywhere close to where I really want to be.

There are times when I'm with friends (of other majors) and feel like a crazy person. I might as well be sitting at a table reciting the phonetic alphabet instead of trying to explain the greatness of a piece of literature to friends, for I get looked at like I'm crazy anyway. But then there are the times when I know for sure that I'm on the correct path, and being a crazy English student isn't a bad thing.

"Z-Z-Z." 

"Good!" the professor praises. "Now, place your hand on your neck like this."

With thumb pressed on one side of their necks and fingers resting on the other, they resemble a bunch of doctors trying to feel for swelling within their throats. 

"Now, say it again. Z-Z-Z. Do you feel the vibrations?" 

The class nods and are given another sound to say. "S-S-S." 

"Are there any vibrations?"

"No," the class answers as one body." 

Today has been one of those days where I've felt at peace with my major. Though the Shadow (who you may recall me mentioning in another post) has been dragging me down today -and yesterday...and the day before that...and...well, basically every day -I was reminded in class that I'm not as crazy as it would like me to think I am. Okay, so I may be crazy, but it's not a negative crazy. I should be proud of it...I am proud of it. I just needed a class today that allowed me to be crazy with other crazy people. A class where if the Shadow walked into it'd be considered the crazy one. It'd be the one out of place.



"V-V-V"

"F-F-F"

"M-M-M"

"P-P-P"


"See if you can find out which sounds are voiceless (creating no vibrations) and which ones are voiced (creating vibrations)," the professor instructs.

"O-O-O"

"A-A-A"

"B-B-B"

"C-C-C"

"D-D-D" 

"E-E-E"

"G-G-G"

"Gerrrrrrrrrr" 

Two students crack up laughing. Due to throat issues and recent illnesses, G is not a sound they can say very easily. One manged to pull it off, but the other ends up growling. Red tinges their faces as they burst out in laughter. Their professor flashes them a brilliant white smile. She begins laughing along with them and makes another remark about being crazy.    

A website is pulled up on the smart board, displaying sounds letters on one side and a picture of the human mouth and throat on the other. The professor clicks on each letter and the picture says it, it's mouth and throat moving according to the sounds. The students can now see the vibrations taking place when sounds are spoken. 

Who would have thought the phonetic alphabet could be so exciting? Who would have thought it would create so much laughter and lighten so many moods? I certainly didn't, and yet it has been the highlight of my day. That class created a blaze out of the dwindling English spark within me.

Something that you may not know about being an English major is that it is easy to grow weary in it. We are forced to read...a lot...and it's not pleasant. You would think reading would be easy, but when you have three, four, five, maybe even six different stories to read, plus text book material, response papers, and research paper to write (not to mention work from other classes) it can become quite tedious. I swear, being an English major has completely ruined how I read. I have such a hard time now reading something at face value. The habit of dissecting literature has taken root within me and it is a hard habit to fight.

Today though, there has been no negativity placed on my major -outside of what the Shadow has placed upon it - and it has felt great. It has been paradise to goof around with the English language, to forget about the stories and analysis, to let go the topic of the Human Condition, and to just play with language as if it were a container of Playdough.

Language is something we take for granted. Humans are the only creatures capable of speaking the language we have. Our language is sacred. It is so unique. Our mouths, our teeth, our tongues, larynx,  and pharynx are special. When you sit in a class room and are presented with multiple ways that our language is sacred, and leave with the knowledge there are a million more reasons you have yet to discus  it's hard to not be excited by it...at least, it's hard for me -the English major -not to.

When I look at language I see God. I see how special he made us. How we couldn't have evolved and how something like the complexity of human communication couldn't have just happened by mistake...and it leaves me in awe.  Combine that feeling of awe with the assurance that it's okay to be crazy, and the wonder of the human language, and I am flying at the moment. No joke. I doubt anything could bring me down at the moment. Though I won't say those words allowed for the Shadow would most likely see them as a challenge.    

For the final words of this post I'll leave you with the final words of the story I have been telling you.

As the class came to an end the students packed their bags. The display on the smart board was being turned off and the professor was gathering up the response paper the class had turned in. Yet, as the students prepared to leave their haven sounds of, "Z-Z-Z" and "D-D-D" could be heard. 

"Yes! Yes!" the professor grinned. " Do that! Go into a room and do it. Do it in public and people will think you've gone mad."

And gone mad the students had, but it was a madness they basked in. A madness that kept them high so the claws of reality couldn't destroy them.