Someone, somewhere, once said that it's the little things in life that mater the most. That when we're down for the count, and the whole world's been raining on our parade, it's the little things that have the power to put a smile on our face. I wish I could tell you who that person was, but I can't. I don't know, and I'm not going to pretend to. Whoever that Aristotle was that first spoke those words is unknown to me, but I do know that he -or she -was a wise person.
I'm as human as the next person. I have a heart, a soul, and a mind. I smile and cry. I get excited and depressed. I'm confident and self-conscious. I have to make hard choices and live with the consequences. That's just the way life is for us humans. We go through things. we experience things. And, we react to them. Often times, we pretend to be people we're not, so that others don't know how broken we truly are.
We like to think that we're supposed to have it all together. We like to think that we're supposed to have it all figured out. But, part of the human experience is figuring it out. It's experiencing and learning. It's choosing. And sometimes we need help. Though most of us don't like asking for aid; we see doing so as a weakness. Yet, sometimes all you need to solve life's puzzles is a friendly ear.
I'm one of those people that consider asking for help to be a last resort. I don't ask for it unless absolutely necessary. I figure it's my life and I'll be the one to handle what happens in it. But, you know what, I don't know everything. I'm not perfect. I make mistakes. I get caught in society's snares. Sometimes it even feels like all I do is make mistakes.
We can't let mistakes hold us back though. And we can't hide behind masks. Those oh so beautifully decorated masks that we make for ourselves in order to keep our true selves safe from the judgmental eyes of the world. The world is judgmental, that's something I believe every human can agree on. We may bicker over religion and rites, but we can't deny that humankind likes to judge each other. And, knowing this, we fear being found out. We fear allowing ourselves to open up to the world. So we carve our masks and hide behind them.
In the late 1800's a poet named, Paul Laurence Dunbar wrote a poem titled We Wear the Mask. Said poem captures the human need to wear a mask perfectly. Granted, Dunbar wrote it -according to critics and professors -about slavery, but I believe it speaks for all mankind. After all, we're all slaves in a sense. All slaves to the need to show ourselves to society as she deems fit. All slaves to the fear of being ourselves (At one time or another we all had to chose weather we'd conform or stand out).
The first time I read Dunbar's We Wear the Mask was my sophomore year of college. I had found it intriguing then and actually spoke about it in class (to the great shock of my professor). After the recent events that have taken place in my life, it has crept it's way back into my mind. I've been reciting it to myself for awhile now, and I feel the need to share it with you:
We wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes, -
This debt we pay to human guile;
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
And mouth with myiad subtleties.
Why should the world be over-wise,
In counting all our tears and sighs?
Nay, let them only see us, while
We wear the mask.
We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries
To thee from tortured souls arise.
We sing, but oh the clay is vile
Beneath out feet, and long the mile;
But let the world dream otherwise,
We wear the mask!
There are very few people that I completely remove my mask for. Most people I come in contact with only know bits and pieces of me. Only one of my friends knows every little thing about me. After making a particular hard decision, I called this friend to talk. I removed my mask and told her everything that was troubling me, and there's been a lot lately.
Like the true friend she is, my friend listened to me and offered advice. A couple nights later I sent her a text, asking her why I felt the way I did concerning the situations I had told her about. Her response was simple, but it was the best one she could have gave. She told me, and I quote, "Because you're human."
She wasn't the only one that's given me advice lately. I've been told a few things that will stay with me forever. But what she said got me thinking and I realized that somewhere over the last year (not even a year, the last six months) I had decided to replace the mask on my face that I had removed. I had decided to play it cool and be a people pleaser. And I wasn't happy with that. I wasn't content playing a role that wasn't mine to play. And when I read her words, I thought....
She's right. I am human. And this is my human experience, and I'm going to experience it the way I want to. The way that I feel is right. Thanks to her, and some others, I was able to make a difficult choice and feel content with it.
As soon as my Christmas break is over, I'll be retieing (Yeah, I don't how to spell that word) on the Never Take It Off bracelet I bought. Not because I need to retie on the vow that I made when I first put the bracelet on, but because it'll serve as a reminder. Every time I feel down, feel like I can do something, feel like life's against me, and every time I start questioning myself and the choices I've made, I'll be able to look down at my right wrist, see that dragonfly bead, and remember my vow.
You may be wondering what my vow is, but I can't tell you. That's sort of the whole point of the bracelet/vow. It's a personal vow. Know one needs to know what it is except for me (though I've given you enough clues as to what it is). With that vow, though, and some help from my friend, I'm going to make 2014 a great year. I'm going to say no to the mask and allow the little things in life to lift me up when I'm down. I'm done pretending. I was done along time ago, but this is me reclaiming myself. This is me standing up, taking my vow, and facing the world head on.
Here's to a great 2014, everyone. Let's make it the best. Together. No more masks. No more pretending. Let's rise up and celebrate. Let's be the outcasts. We are empowered.
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NOTE: Never Take It Off is an online shop that's about making personal vows and keeping them. To read more about it, check out their site http://nevertakeitoff.bigcartel.com/
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