My Thoughts On...Being an Introvert

The internet is a marvelous thing, is it not? It enables us to find all sorts of information. Have a question? Google it. Have a witty comment? Post it on a social page. There are so many websites out there for us to partake in. It was while browsing through one of the sites that I'm often on -Pintrest -that I came across this picture: 

"How to Care for Introverts." I'll admit, it was the title that caught my eye. After reading the picture, I -who am an introvert -had to admit that many of the 'rules' on it were valid. Honestly, I wish more people would follow them. If they did, I probably would talk to more people.  Let's break this list down, shall we? I'll write the rule and then give you my personal opinion on it. How's that sound? 

Rule #1: Respect their need for privacy.

This one is a must with me. I hate it when people look over my shoulder when I'm working on something or texting someone, when people go through my text messages (Don't touch my phone), when people mess with my laptop without my permission (Don't you dare touch my laptop), and when they go through my note books (You touch my journal you better run...fast). I get that people want to get to know me, but all you have to do is ask. If you ask, and I tell you that I'd rather not talk about the subject you ask about, then don't push the mater. We introverts like our privacy.  

Rule #2: Never embarrass them in pubic. 

I have only one thing to say about this one. Do it and I'll never speak to you again. Seriously, you embarrass me in public, especially if it's on purpose, and I will avoid you like the plague. After time, I may start speaking to you again but  never expect me to fully trust you. I'll keep my distance from you.

Rule #3: Let them observe first in new situations.

I don't know if this is the same for all introverts, but, for me, it's easier to learn by observing. Observing is my tool to figuring out people, places, situations, and new tasks.  

Rule #4:  Give them time to think. Don't demand instant answers. 

This is one that I really wish more people would do, especially a couple of my professors. When you ask me something, or say something to me, it's not uncommon for me to not respond right away. I'm not hesitating because I'm lying, I'm not trying to come up with a good excuse, I'm merely processing your words and attempting to find the ones I need to say exactly what I'm thinking. If you rush me, as one of my professors tends to do, you get crappy answers that are full of stuttering and unsurness...even though I know what I want to say, I have to have time to figure out how to say it. 

Rule#5: Don't interrupt them. 

This was a big problem for me freshman year of college and still gets on my nerves now. If you're trying to have a conversation with me then don't interrupt my part of the conversation because, if you do, my attention will soon shift from you to whatever the nearest shiny object is. It makes me feel like you really don't care what I have to say and, therefore, I will not say anything at all...hence why I tend to give a lot of short, generic answers (such as yeah, cool, okay, sweet...etc...) to my friends.  

Rule #6: Give them advance notice of expected changes in their lives.

If life worked that way, it'd be great. As an introvert, I do this thing where I have to talk myself into changes. I get anxious about changes and, if I'm not given a decent amount of time to prepare myself for them, I could react badly. I could go into what I call 'shut-down mode'. Which is basically when I block out the world, aim to be invisible, and go through the day as silent as a shadow. 

Rule #7: Give them 15min warnings to finish whatever they are doing.

This one pretty much relates to the last one. 

Rule #8:  Reprimand them privately. 

If I've done something to insult you, or screwed up on something, don't make a scene about it. You do and we're back to the outcome of rule #2. Things like this affect introvert's insecurities and one of the introvert's worst fears is having the world see them when they're insecure. So no public reprimands.

Rule #9: Teach them new skills privately. 

When taught new things in public, introverts get nervous...which can often lead to them screwing up on the new skill and them feeling like a failure because their peers saw them mess up. 

Rule #10:  Enable them to fine one best friend who has similar interests and abilities. 

Let's be honest. Us introverts don't have many close friends. We may have groups of friends we hang out with, and many people we can comfortably talk with, but normally we only have one or two people who we consider close enough friends to share our true opinions with. 

Hm, okay, I don't really like how I worded that. This one's sort of hard to explain. 

Rule #11: Don't push them to make lots of friends.

We're introverts, not extroverts. We're loners, not social-butterflies. Don't push us to be something we're not. 

Rule #12: Respect their introversion. Don't try to remake them into extroverts. 

Chances are, if you accept our quietness, our wishes to observe rather to participate, our need to think through things, and don't publicly humiliate us, we can be great friends with you. Yet, going back to rule #11, don't make us something we aren't. 

Another thing about us introverts, we tend to be rather good listeners. We are wallflowers. As Stephen Chbolysky said in his book, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, we see things and we understand them. It's part of our observational skills. Just because we aren't talking, just because we aren't telling secrets, just because we aren't participating in gossip, doesn't mean we don't know what's going on. What it does mean is that we are aware of the situations around us and we understand the impact each one has on the lives of those involved in them. 

I suppose that is it for this blog post. I hope all who read this have a good day/night.